Turning Fear into Something Extraordinary
So, with the new year starting, I've been doing lots and lots of soul-searching. Well, not lots. But, I've been trying to figure out where I'm headed and what I really want and what I need to do to get there. I want this year to be a great one. A beyond great one. I graduate in May, I'm 21 years old... now's the time to do whatever it is my little heart wants to do! But, as always, I'm a little scared and a little one-foot-in, one-foot-out-ish. I really want to push myself and go for the little dreams and visions I have of myself in different places, surrounded by new and different people, totally out of my comfort zone -- regardless of how intimidating that is to me. I want to do it, so I can know that I'm capable of it. Because deep down, I know I am. I get pretty freaked out by change. But in the instances where I have no choice but to face it, I always end up being okay. So this year, I am making a conscious effort to always remind myself that I will be okay and that everything will be fine, no matter how scary it is at first. The night before I left for my Summer abroad trip with one of my best friends, I was terrified! By observing my own patterns and feelings when faced with these 'scary' situations, I've realized what exactly it is that I get so freaked out by -- change and the unknown. I was scared to go on the abroad trip because I had never gone on a trip by myself (aka without family) for so long and I was scared that I would get there and want to come home. I was scared because I didn't know exactly how the trip would pan out. I didn't know what the other students would be like, I didn't know how structured the actual class would be, I didn't know if I packed the right clothes I'd need. I just didn't know. But nobody knows the future. Of course I didn't know answers to all of those concerns. But I had no choice but to get on that plane the next morning and let life take its course, so I did. And once I got there, 3 weeks quickly turned into 1 week, which then turned into 1 day, and all of a sudden there I was at Sky Harbor Airport's South Curb sweating and waiting for my parents to pick me up from the absolute best experience of my life. These few examples are definitely not the only ones that show my scared-of-the-unknown self, but you get the gist.
My point is, though, that every time I'm so scared of what's ahead, it always ends up working out and being amazing. I'm sure if I would have figured that out my senior year of high school, and would have just gone with my initial decision to go to college out of state, I would have had the best four years of my life. But, I didn't, and I stayed in Arizona, and even then, I still managed to have a pretty damn awesome four years. I started my very first job at a company that I absolutely love and have been with for almost 3 years. Through that job, I met friends that I am confident I will have for the rest of my life. I gained experience that I would not have had the chance to gain anywhere else. I learned more about myself than ever before. And most importantly, I've figured out that the scary things, are quite often the best things.
I don't know what will happen in the next year of my life, but I'm ready for it. Yes, I'm scared. But, I know that now, especially, is the time to be scared. But it's also the time to take full advantage of that fear and turn it into something extraordinary. If not now, when? Right?
This year, I promise to push my limits, to embrace my fears, to step out of my comfort zone, to always stay true to myself, to become best friends with strangers, to stay open-minded, and most of all, to always remember that no matter what, it will all be okay.